Free

For all the efforts I made to buy comic books when I was little; stealing from mom's purse, saving up pocket monies and collecting loose change from the bottom of pencil holders. Now you tell me that Doraemon chapters are available online???

Fuck you internet!!


Rereading Doraemon for the umph-teenth time now.

My favorite Scene

Little Amelie awaits for her revenge...

Glad Wrap Storage Bag

Hohoho~ Christmas came early this year as I found this magnificent money-saving, space efficient, anti-oxidative product used to preserve the lifespan of my vegies, indefinitely.

Here is, the GLAD WRAP STORAGE BAG!!!

Measuring at 24 x 38 cm2, costing $2.45 for 10 bags a box, The Magnificent Glad Wrap Storage Bag is designed with cutting edge technology developed by a team of dedicated scientists from Germany - the same team which designs Volkswagens and the Indian car - Tata!

Holy moly! Just look at these pictures and repeat after me ---> REAL RESULTS! REAL-TESTI-MONIALS, from REAL-USERS whom swear by their Magnificent F-M-L Glad Wrap Storage Bags.

The Asian greens were so happy in their bags... they started repopulating. Meet their bastard child - the Korean cabbage.

Check out this funky new product at your local Coles supermarket today!

The Prosperity-InducedMagnificentFMLGladWrapStorageBags, good for numerous occasions and functions! Storage baggers, lunch baggers, teabaggers, homeless beggers, the bagger who has a bag, the bagger WITHOUT a bag, a bagger who HAS a bag and WANTS a SECOND bag, etc. Be a bagger today!

Wait~ there's MOREEEE!!

If you leave a comment, I'll personally train a neutered, pure-bred and gay Doberman to deliver a box of MichaelJacksonEndorsedProsperity-InducedMagnificentFMLGladWrapStorageBags to your doorstep ABSOLUTELY FREE!

Type in your credit card info in the comments box now!

【怨情】

美人卷珠帘，深坐颦蛾眉。但见泪痕湿，不知心恨谁？

李白

"If you work for a living, why do you kill yourself working?"

A year ago, this quote wouldn't have ring a bell nor lit a lightbulb in my head, coz it was the uni days. No work, no job, no obligations.

It is beautiful, how a movie - 'The Good, The Bad and The Ugly' is able to conjure such starkly epiphany, simply because life imitates art.

When I was jobless, I swore to hold on to a job no matter how tough the job is. It is amazing how idleness can drive an individual to make a resolution as crazy and mindless.

Today, I am not backing out from my resolution, as I think it (in some perspective) encourages me. Nevertheless, ever pondering the meaning of this quote, I had come to a point and learn to ask "Do you really wanna be in a crazed Rat Race?" Calling it a race is unfair, as there won't be a winner, just as true as the race will never end.

Learning to give and take, win some and lose some. It ain't a uni subject, and it ain't hard to do. It's amiable to be eager in tasting success. At the same time, it is also important to know when to 'slow down' or 'be at ease'.

don't stop, but don't break your back either,

good luck

I Punched the Little Girl

Dear Mr. Sandman, please bestow upon me a good dream tonight. Because I loathed the one I had for my nap, you know, the one where I punched a little girl.

In all fairness, did you expect otherwise? A dream that begins where I lost my credit card and a strange little girl starts to annoy me, I feel that it's completely justified (in dreamland laws) that I hurled a punch out of frustration.

In retrospect, it's kinda stupid waking up from a relaxing nap hurling a punch that landed on my laptop. Yeah, my laptop! Ouch!

So, here's the deal. I've never had such violent dreams such as this and it worries me for fears that I might turn into the Hulk with uncontrollable rage. Imma take things slow at work and YOU provide me with sweet dreams - at least 6 times a week, starting TONIGHT.

A pretty sweet deal, eh? Done!

Here's to a good night and sweet dreams.

Reunion Dinner

Dear blog,

I've recently realised that I've missed 2 reunion dinners and planning to do the same for the third one.

Students, working class, sons and daughters. Some think that a Reunion Dinner is just a dinner, one like any other. Till one day it is gone and lost forever. It happens I tell you, it really does. Few of the common excuses of not having a Reunion Dinner are, too busy to attend, too hectic to organise, no one attending because everyone is overseas (or feuding), etc.

I've come to realised that being in a reunion dinner is a greatly rewarding experience. You learn the tradition, learn the respect. Learn to know cousins or relatives you don't know existed. You learn to address elders by their correct names and relation. Not to mention to savour the food and recipes that had been cooking for years. The plates and bowls with tiny cracks and motives of fish, roosters and chinese characters. The unventilated dining hall where adults dine separately from kids because there wasn't enough spaces. And, passing the only soy sauce bottle person to person to add into their soupy rice.

It was hot, sweaty, loud and merry, that is how a Hakka-style Reunion dinner should be.

I am going back for CNY. With a mission to revive the tradition taken from me.

For those who still has Reunion dinners in their family, I implore you to cherish this great tradition.

Spring :D :D :D

Spring hath cometh!

追

Damn! I'm gonna learn this song!

Did the movie 'Music and Lyrics' copy this?

“我坐咗喺屎坑四年先諗到呢四句咋。" ~ very cute

The Bad Mood Post

Sometimes...

We gotta let go of things in order to venture into the future. For holding on to things like people, habits, principles, attitudes, expectations, opinions and etc, will simply just cause retardation to any possible developments.

Without doubt, that the present holds greater importance than the past and even the future. But since humans are essentially emotional creatures, the past often find ways to sneak up from behind and seize a moment of insanity. For that brief moment, the body suffocates and every muscle would cringe. The mind feels like it is being sliced by a razor blade and your forehead wrinkles up.

And all you could do is scream and curse under your sheets.

With such distress in mind, what will relieve or prevent such agony from occuring?

None?

Or maybe the BETTER question is, why would I stop these emotional seizures from happening?

Everyone has done things that deserves either to be rewarded or punished. Best get along with the consequences and don't be frustrated by it. Keeping my conscience always works till now. At the same time, i'm leaving my principles outside too.

Emotion is a tacky little bitch. Sometimes.

Today I'm in a Good Mood

Yes I am.

See, because I'm smiling.

You can't see it, of course.

It's your loss really, for everything around me seems so right.

So I am telling you, I'm blissful for all the reasons possible.

Let me tell you what I'm going to do later.

I'm going to have some mashed potatoes, vegs and pan-fried salmon for dinner.

Then, I'm gonna finish the JCVD movie.

Damn, this feels gooooood.

Premonition

While i lay on my bed, for a nap. This stuck me.

"Maybe in the future, death will become a choice not an ultimatum."

And this too...

"...with my PR, I can earn some money by going into the fake marriage business. According to my sources, it pays $17,000 to $20,000 aud...

...Woot."

The Crave

Weary eyes, ringing ears, shallow breath, and a broken body.

Now i realise the craving for a some jazz, a drink and cigarettes.

Transformers, kiss my ass.

Please transform into the $16.80 I paid for the IMax ticket back to me.

The film was effing boring, and I fell asleep twice. TWICE!! for fuck's sake.

3:30 a.m

... and thus, this will be the ungodly hour that he shall start working.

Sounds like a dea*th* sentence.

Today I am trying to readjust my biological clock, to sleep at 8 p.m and wake up at 2:40 a.m.

Just like the coal miners in China,

just like my forefathers,

just like....*YAWN*

Shit, waking up at this hours is one major frustration. I hate everything. I hate the light, the noise caused by others, and I hate everything.

Hard to imagine that my first post-graduate job starts at 3:30 a.m, Monday toThursday in 10 hours shifts.

This better lead to a damn HUGE reward at the end of the fucking tunnel, or else I'm going postal.

2 Questions

Do you ppl clean your bellybutton?

If yes, how?

Rid Tanha

Being idle for such lengthy time, I've learnt to deal with gaining or losing to expectations.

Whether this job opportunity comes through or not, it doesn't matter much. At least I'm not affected devastatingly. For instance, whenever my application is rejected, my blood pressure spikes (at least it feels like so).

Rid tanha, rid tanha, rid tanha.

Rid the tanha in becoming and unbecoming.

Let it slither off like mud on the root of a lotus.

Or like winds on an unshakable mountain.

Gotta relax. And focus. Clear mind. One step. Don't fall.

Another step.

God, I wish I can go back to that dream.

I travelled into a dark cave, with grey stones and long, deep stairwells.

At the end I saw a lady in white dressed in Malay baju kurung and tudung.

She stood by a window under a blurry silhouette, and i freaked out thinking she was a ghost.

Within the cave, there was another cave.

But it was a paradise covered in green and sunlight.

It had circular paths with ponds and stepping stones covered in moss.

Despite the path leading into the skies, I will never slip or fall.

At the top, a fresh breeze fills my lungs as the lands was in the greenest green and the skies in perfect blue with patches of clouds.

Quickly, I told my friends about it.

But the time we arrived, it vanished. It was unreachable.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is the most vivid, beautiful and serene dream I'd ever had. And who says we don't dream in colours?

Very weird dream

In my dreams, I saw a bride in white. She ran down a flight of stairs and jumped into my convertible. "Let's go.", she said.

Yesterday night was the first bridal-themed dreams I've ever had.

Very scary.

Picture of the Day

'The Undies That Escaped the Closet'

Flu Scare

I had the symptoms, sore throat, cough, body ache, right after i stepped down the plane, on the way home in a taxi.

With the swine flu epidemic raging across the globe, I went to a GP the next morning.

Interesting thing is after telling them I had travelled overseas recently, they didn't ask me to wait, didn't ask for an appointment, instead I was ushered in the little quarantined area where the nurse had to talk to me standing outside the door wearing a surgical mask.

It turns out that, I caught the common flu. Since I have not received my Medicare card, i had to pay $60 for paracetamol and lozenges prescription - 'prescription' as in advice, not including drugs.

It happened in such an untimely fashion, really. And btw, I Hate sore throat/coughs. I hate it with a passion. It takes a very long time to recover, my record was 8 weeks,  and coughing really makes me gasp for air. Worst of all, it is a Virus infection, which means there's no immediate treatment, only relieve of symptoms.

Tips to relieve symptoms:

1. Paracetamol. Lots of them. Take it when you are sleeping, awake, after meals, even when you are pooping. It works wonders.

2. Whiskey, neat. Sip one finger of whiskey b4 you go to bed. Add a cube of ice if it's strong.

3. Lie down on a bed and refrain from standing because it causes more coughing.

4. If the weather is warm enough, strip down and start strecthing the upper torso.

Disclaimer: The claims above are totally subjective to individual and its effect may vary depending on the individual. The author is not liable on adverse outcomes due to these methods.

What's in your shoebox?

Dear Blog,

Here's a thought. While I was tidying up my room before I leave for OZ land, i found my old shoebox from when I was little. 

People keep different things in their shoeboxes. 

Some liked photos, some letters, collectibles, old spectacles, porno mags, etc etc etc....

At the sight of my old shoebox, it's hard to believe how long has it been since I last opened it.

Behind that cardboard cover, contains  items that are preserved through time in dust each with a story that summarises the past.

Reminising the past is best done in moderation, I guess. Cos, the present has much more to offer. I'll reserve the reminiscence till the time I have nothing more to look forward to.

So, I'm keeping my shoebox the way it is. Nothing is going in or out. Like cognac, letting it 'age' through time as it grows refined. Possibly another 60 years :)

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. I wonder how long will this timecapsule last?

What's in your shoebox?

What I Did 2 Days After My 24th Birthday

Oh Yeaaaa~  What-da-whaaat???

me and my high quality carpet hair. 

i have no need for hair cream the next 4 months. Mua hahaha!

gotta lose some weight tho.

What I Did in Singapore

I baked cookies. (also good for vegans) 

Repaired some broken toys for my cousins.

Made a Chinese chess set for my cousins.

Picked age appropriate Chinese manga books for the cousin.

(both above are initiatives to encourage my cousin to pick up Chinese)

Here're my delicious pineapple cookies,

Although the trip was outright boring, strangely, I enjoyed it. 

Weird~

I guess it is sometimes entertaining doing stuff for other people.

And, I was surveyed by the Ministry of Tourism on how much i've spent in Sg.

=Zero.

Boy, my survey sure is gonna skew their statistics.

 

My 10-Years Overdue Dentist Visit

The reason is I was traumatised by my primary school dentist (whom yanked out my two front teeth using her fingers). Her 'raw and brutal' tooth extraction technique left a mental scar.

A TMJ syndrome made me relent on going to a dentist. The clicking of my jaw was so annoying, i had to seek treatment. 

First, a GP - also my family doctor made a perceptive observation and correctly diagnosed me with TMJ syndrome 

due to bruxism. 

And then, i approached an orthodontist and he molded my teeth for a nightguard.

Also, he found two cavities. The one on the pic is extra huge, half of my tooth is dead.

How did it get unnoticed? Floride is the main culprit. Florides in toothpaste makes the outer layer of a tooth strong, so it covered up t

he cavity outside, but leaving the inner tooth vulnerable. When the dentist drilled into my tooth, the decay was as big as a corn's kernel. 

On the bright side, I had finally filled up all my cavities, and also had teeth scaling (it's like teeth manicure). Look out for my sparkling, vivacious smile :D

I'm definitely going to the dentist next year.

The Hash

This post may not be as eloquent or as organised (and  long-winded) as it should be, for I am "typing under influence"(pardon me). But, I am pretty sure I am recording one of the most underrated, most subtle, most secretive, most unpublicised, yet most satisfactory event in Kajang, Mont Kiara, Broga, and Cheras.

It is called "The Hash".

Imagine, a collection of people. Disregarding wealth, social status, health, and most importantly AGE, in a rendezvous at the bottom of Broga Hill. The aim? A 1.5 hrs hike up Broga Hill (purportedly 1000 metres in height, but actually 300+ metres.), and eventually, free flow of beer, snacks and food at the FINISH line.

Sounds good eh? According to this link, Malaysian hashing started during the British colonial rule, and to my observation, it is a dying tradition. Because it involves strenuous physical exercises and heavy boozing, 2 qualities that are extremes opposites to youngsters. Sure, one might not approve the overindulgence of alcohol and debilitating marathon around lalangs and steep hills and mud. But after experiencing 1 and 1/2 hrs of physical torment (e.g, hiking, scaling down slopes, hiking again, getting lost, hopping over water streams and jogging) one can yet feel the satisfaction, good company of fellow 'hashiers' and still wanting for more.

This is my first Hashing experience,

I FIRST noticed hashing from my local Chicken rice stall, approximately 6-7 yrs ago. On his stall's glass panels, there were multiple "House Harrier Hash", "888" or  'cock-themed' stickers on display. I always wondered the origins of these organisations. 

Today, my Uncle arrived in Malaysia from Perth , and invited me to a 'Hash' in Broga Hill, near Mantin. Without hesitation, I agreed to tag along. Albeit I was warned by my aunt that Hashing events are simply made up reasons for men and women to drink.

Arrived at the location at 5:30 p.m on a Tuesday evening. To my dismay, the participants were all in their mid- 40s. As the Chinese saying, they were "Evening Birds". 

But! I was not completely discouraged. The MAIN objective was to overcome the marathon challenge. Guided by a "Super" we were hiking Broga Hill in no time. Carefully following paper trails and deciphering hollers from hiking mates in front, warning us about thorns, holes and slopes ahead. 

I must say, the Supers were highly supportive on newcomers, although they are not as fit. At one point on course, I got lost - distracted by a odd-looking tree-house with a person living in it. Indo immigrant looking after the plantation perhaps. Or is it....? creepy.

Finally, after an hour and half of physical torment and humiliation, here comes the reward! Free flow of ICE Cold beer and nasi lemak snack! <<---snack.

By Hashiers' tradition, b4 dinner there will be a 'circus' or 'circle'. A circus is where the Grandmaster (GM) announces the updates on events and newbies get 'initiated' be hashiers. The process goes like this, everyone gathers in a circle and the newbie tell everyone his/her name, address, the person who brought him in the hash, and did he/she have fun in the first hash. To make things more interesting, newbies will have to sit on a block of ice. YES! ICE!!

Logically, you wouldn't dare  piss off 80+ mid aged people, so you suck up to them. I did great, so no ICE CHAIR for me. In fact, I got handshakes from many hashiers. Did I mention they'll sing a song and the newbie was to down a whole stubbie of beer?

After 5 stubbies, we were led to a roadside restaurant and treated dinner. 4 dishes consisting of 2 vegies, one pork and one fish... and dessert.

So! what do I think of this unique experience? Pure magnificence. I never thought I'll play well with mid-aged people. For I constantly forget that THEY were 23 y.o like me years before, carefree, thoughtless, bashful and fearless. 

I guess having a youngster within the crowd is a delight for them. Maybe it's the fatigue, maybe it's the alcohol, but for 1st time hashier like me being in the center of the crowd, ppl picking debris off your face and shaking your hands and knowing your mother, uncle, maybe grandfather on introduction... it gives you a sense of familiarity.

They drink, smoke, curse and binge on illicit stuff. On the contrary, they kid, tease, and laugh at anyone, everyone! Age, gender, height, looks, education, wealth do not matter, well at least at the hash. 

I've finally found something unique in my hometown.

*There were no injuries during the hash run. One did, however occurred when an old man got too drunk and fell on his head. Dummy.

Superstition

Here is an interesting picture. Taken in an elevator of a share market. Superstitious as always.

Earth Hour

... is it's merely a symbolic gesture to remind us that the world is dying. And that we are the ones killing it. Nonetheless, it is also incapable of what it claims to do (if not "claim", then "propagate").

One must admit that Earth Hour adverts are highly suggestive that if we stay dark for an hour on that special day - March the 29th, it'll save the world from crumbling into the depths of global warming, CO2 overload, and possibly the extinction of cub seals in North Pole (speaking of which, Canada is starting it's massive seal clubbing today. But it's a story for another day.)

Understand this, Earth Hour has its purpose to figuratively, emblematically signify the effects of human industrialisation and possibly instill a sense of awareness or remorse in hopes that it might trigger our conscience and rationality to move towards the 'greener' path.

But in praticality, it has no significance. 

LDL & Dreams Update

6:36 A.M Monday March 23rd, 2009

Here is my LDL cholesterol percentage: 3.2 % (borderline high)

Here is the photo of my recently revised staple meal: oatmeal

Here is the dream I had this morning: Someone chasing 

me on a spaceship and I had to escape using a fire tunnel. But the tunnel was so small, I got stuck. 

... such a nice way for my body to tell me that my arteries are clogging.

The Question

I will be back in Malaysia for a couple of weeks and not too excited about it.

Sure, the food is great, things are cheap and I get to drive around.

But being unemployed and all, really kills the fun that I had when I was still a student.

I'm gonna count the number of times any job-related questions others ask me this vacation.

Anything from the polite "Have you found a job yet?" to the rude "When are you going to get your ass up and land on a job?".

I will be counting.

I Don't Wanna Die on a LCC

On March 16, I will be boarding on a low-cost carrier (AirAsia) back to Malaysia. The purpose of my travel is to attend my Sister's wedding registration. 

I've heard plenty about the quality of flying internationally with AirAsia. And frankly, they were so bad that I had a very hard time deciding between MAS and AA. For the sake of saving $600 AUD, I chose to sacrifice comfort and endure extreme boredom for 8 hours (not to mention a risk of back scoliosis). But for half the price I pay for MAS, what do I expect? 

Suddenly, a scenario popped into my mind. A LCC aircrash! 

Perhaps is the Hudson River Aircrash,  or the emails circulating around about AirAsia's coverups regarding their faulty plane landings, or Qantas's exploding oxygen tank.

It would be so, so GHEY to die on a LCC airplane.

It's like buying a coffin that is on 50% sale.

If an aircrash were to happen, the paramedics picking up my remnants would surely have one thought in their minds, 'Cheap bastard, sucks to be him'.

Ideally, I prefer sitting on an airplane equivalent to Air Force One and business class.

Now that's a cool way to travel towards the light at the end of the tunnel.

*Also, a beautiful lady passanger by my side please. Flight attendants will do as well. :)

Word of the Day: FOB

I've learnt a interesting word today - FOB.

It came across when I told my friends about getting a PR.

Apparently, I am "not a fob" anymore.

Although it's perceptive to label someone a fob, I googled the phrase and found an entry on Urban Dictionary. Enjoy!

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fob

Gotta Split

Dear Blog,

I'm here to state one of my greatest achievements.

On a Wushu class last Thursday, I did a front split - and my left butt touched the ground.

Yes, I have attained a frontal split.

That is all.

And, also I've been granted a PR visa.

my 25 random things

Once, you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things. At the end, you choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

--------------------------------------------------

1. Writing 25 random things is a lot of work.

2. Randomness is a temporary description for things yet to be explained in time.

3. Zits appear randomly on my face (and other parts of my body).

4. "Hey there good lookin'!" - Kate Macucci and her ukulele.

5. Writing a list of random things about yourself on FB may jeopardise your career.

6. For example, I am an engineer and I hope my work reflects Picasso's cubism.

7. "...objects are broken up, analyzed, and re-assembled in an abstracted form." - that's cubism.

8. Of all people I've asked, every one enjoys the feeling of exploding zits. Especially ones with "double-explosions".

9. while(zit!=0){looks_at_mirror; triangulate_zit; place_fingertips; apply_gradual_pressure; printf("omg! it's a snake!")}; // infinite loop error

10. 'Cocky' - never understood why over self-confidence is related to private parts.

11. I repel ants using peppermint oil and talcum powder.

12. I hate job interviews.

13. The reason is that I dislike sounding pretentious, optimistic and etc.

14. However, I am pragmatic, and materialistic. Luv $$$.

15. I like big boobs and I cannot lie.

16. I hope my mom doesn't see this list.

17. It took me 2 years to finish 5-pages of a certain Chopin ballade.

18. ...and obviously, I procrastinate.

19. I truly believe I do not have a life after writing No.19.

20. And neither do you if you are reading No.20.

21. I speak Martian.

22. A zit appeared in the weirdest part of my body is on my arm-pits.

23. The Notes application should be shut down to stop its plague.

24. My best dream(s) has/have been recently topped. Twas a me journeying to a city full of giant buildings, endless flight of stairs with huge ivory statues of rams and elephants guarding the doors. The awesome things is, the statue talks!

25. I hate spam. So I am ending this '25-things' cycle like a good Buddhist and not tagging anyone - unless you really need to list 25 things (like at gunpoint, to save your life, etc), feel free to do some bad karma.

On Communism

I'm so sick of job seeking, I wish I were a communist.

2009 CNY

Today is officially my saddest day of 2009!

FUCK!

but good oso la, cos if today is the saddest day, no other day can top the level of sadness today!

But still.... FUCK! FUCK!

FUCK the job interviews, else I'll be in Malaysia boozing and eating and travelling~!

FUCK the room renting, else I'll be living in my own room, FOR FREE!

All for the 2.4 times exchange rate. I WILL PREVAIL! MCH!

Nicholas Kristof

... is an International Journalist for the New York Times. And this is his YT channel (link).

Despite hearing a dandily banjo playing upon entering his site, his works are mostly gloomier in mood. 

Extortion, women abuse, child labour, sweatshops, poverty, forced prostitution - things that are unheard of in mainstream media. After seeing the videos, it is hard to believe that these ARE happening in undeveloped countries. Shocked and disgusted by the acts of the human kins, I decided to contribute my meager effort in spreading his message. Because 3000++ views just isn't enough awareness for the unfortunates, when "Evolution of Dance" (I&II) tops the view ratings among Internet users.

How about a fair share of entertainment and dismal? 

Urging people to look at the ugly side isn't my cup of tea. Looking at grotesque images and listening to horrifying stories bothers me as well. However, the dark side of the moon complements its lustre.  

I dream with my eyes open.

http://www.youtube.com/user/NicholasKristof

Cigar

There are plenty of things I'd like to do at least once - silly little things. Like, bungee jumping, complete a Chopin ballade (work in progress), smoking weed :), climb a mountain, perfect a butterfly kick, learn French, learn Japanese, learn German, travel alone to a distant land, jump high to perform a slam dunk... the list goes on.

Today, I've tried smoking a cigar.

After hours of web surfing on how to cut and light a cigar, I went to a tobacconist, got myself a decent cigar, light it and sat on my lawn watching the clouds move on the skies.

The brand of cigar is 'La Paz Gran Corona'. 'Gran Corona' states the size of cigar, and the cigar came from 'La Paz' somewhere in South America.

Despite its neat little package and '100% Tabaco' stamp, both attempts to disguise the cigar as a South American/Caribbean descent, a little Google-ing made apparent that it is a bastard child of Indonesian, Paraguay and Havana 'tabaco'.

Crafty little Hispanics.

Nevertheless, it tasted aromatic. In fact, too aromatic towards the end it started stinging my tongue.

And, cigars smell like old people.

I am so fat, I ...

... finally look like an engineer.
... run 5 kms on alternate days (now replaced by Wushu).
... watched all my movies in panoramic mode, so that the actors look 'wider'.

... developed gravitational field.

... posed like Victoria Becks with my cheeks all tucked in.

... wished i could only feed on air moisture.

... be donating 1 pint of blood to perpetuate indefinite weight loss.

... hate Summer. FREAKING HOT!!