The Crave

Weary eyes, ringing ears, shallow breath, and a broken body.

Now i realise the craving for a some jazz, a drink and cigarettes.

Transformers, kiss my ass.

Please transform into the $16.80 I paid for the IMax ticket back to me.

The film was effing boring, and I fell asleep twice. TWICE!! for fuck's sake.

3:30 a.m

... and thus, this will be the ungodly hour that he shall start working.

Sounds like a dea*th* sentence.

Today I am trying to readjust my biological clock, to sleep at 8 p.m and wake up at 2:40 a.m.

Just like the coal miners in China,

just like my forefathers,

just like....*YAWN*

Shit, waking up at this hours is one major frustration. I hate everything. I hate the light, the noise caused by others, and I hate everything.

Hard to imagine that my first post-graduate job starts at 3:30 a.m, Monday toThursday in 10 hours shifts.

This better lead to a damn HUGE reward at the end of the fucking tunnel, or else I'm going postal.

2 Questions

Do you ppl clean your bellybutton?

If yes, how?

Rid Tanha

Being idle for such lengthy time, I've learnt to deal with gaining or losing to expectations.

Whether this job opportunity comes through or not, it doesn't matter much. At least I'm not affected devastatingly. For instance, whenever my application is rejected, my blood pressure spikes (at least it feels like so).

Rid tanha, rid tanha, rid tanha.

Rid the tanha in becoming and unbecoming.

Let it slither off like mud on the root of a lotus.

Or like winds on an unshakable mountain.

Gotta relax. And focus. Clear mind. One step. Don't fall.

Another step.

God, I wish I can go back to that dream.

I travelled into a dark cave, with grey stones and long, deep stairwells.

At the end I saw a lady in white dressed in Malay baju kurung and tudung.

She stood by a window under a blurry silhouette, and i freaked out thinking she was a ghost.

Within the cave, there was another cave.

But it was a paradise covered in green and sunlight.

It had circular paths with ponds and stepping stones covered in moss.

Despite the path leading into the skies, I will never slip or fall.

At the top, a fresh breeze fills my lungs as the lands was in the greenest green and the skies in perfect blue with patches of clouds.

Quickly, I told my friends about it.

But the time we arrived, it vanished. It was unreachable.

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This is the most vivid, beautiful and serene dream I'd ever had. And who says we don't dream in colours?