A Long List of Piss

Since i'm approaching the end of my academic life, i reckon i should make plans. Whatever plans regardless, as long as it concerns my future. My future, easily said; a hard thing to ''plan''. At this moment, 'aimless' best describe my state of mind. Once before motivated, i really hoped that i wake up each and every day with jolly tune in my head, feeling positive+contented+proactive, etc, etc. However, something seems to be bothering me, an unidentified factor, and it's pissing me off.

What is preventing me from living my life to the fullest?

Is it in my room?
Is it on my face?
Is it in my mind which I hardly understood?
Is it the bills and bank statements that constantly remind you that income is necessary?
Is it the smell of grease after cooking?
Is it the people that pisses you off at first sight?
Is it the guilt that piles up year after year, generating compound interest?
Is it the fear of dying, losing someone eternally?
Is it the little cockroach on the wall that you killed?
Is it Africa?
Is it the list of sad songs repeating?
Is it the future?

...

You know what? I'm clueless, for now. But after making this list of rants, I genuinely felt better. In comparison to the kids in Africa who are starving (dying), eating sand and drinking urine, I mustn't take life for granted. Who the fuck am I to complain when I'm sheltered, well-fed and educated. Less bitching and more empathy, please.

Feeling Stupid

hmmm~ here's a thought.

One day, i woke up and felt that some things i've done in the past are meaningless and useless. And there're things i've done that are useful and beneficial.

So, that brings me to this conclusion:

"... that I am really getting smarter each and everyday."

the best thing in life is to realise and learn (from "things"), regardless good or bad, as they provide wisdom :D

** strange, it took me 23 years to actually say it.